Thoughts of you hold back the nightmare

Until I see your words, your thoughts

This reality of you is only a dream

Transient and fragile

Gentle my grasp, lest the bubble bursts


                Eager I await the moment

                When your existence is seen once more

                Awaken me with golden coins falling

                Words, ideas a treasure in my mind

                On the path I can continue now

                Strengthened by your strength

                Enlightened by your light


Darkness calls to darkness, though the light shines

Twined together, our thoughts share

a common moment, a breath of peace

Time outside of time

Chase away the blackness that threatens

My sanctity, my inner soul

And find the quiet wonder of your heart

Waiting for me to rest

Able to sleep once more.



ZCHallback {AikiBriarRose}

[I claim no ownership of the pictures. All rights for the image belong to the creators/owners of the pictures.]

[I claim no ownership of the words used in the pictures. All rights for the words belong to the creator/owner of the song – Gackt.] Used under Fair Use of Content/Creative Commons.


Black Swans, White Knuckles

Got to burn those bridges
Open new doors
On the path to a new life
To seize hold of the victory
Never does it fail
The lightning strikes
The perfect storm comes down
On me

Black swans, white knuckles
Pain and trouble always comes in threes
Leaving me holding on for dear life
To the things that mean the most to me

Clouds of Black Swans over the sun
Block out the light
Evermore destroying any desire
To do what is right
White knuckles from gripping
The lifeline so tight
Holding on so hard
To keep from drowning
Trying to stop myself
From falling down
Screaming into the Void

Black swans
White knuckles
Nothing is as it should be
Blood and tears shed to no avail
Pain and trouble always finding me in threes
Holding on for all I’m worth
To the things that mean
More to me
Than anything

My life
My love
My family
Nevermind my sanity

Anyone would have to be
To continue on through
Black swans, white knuckles
Pain and trouble
For once I beg
Pass over me.

04-04-08 ZCHallback {AikiBriarRose}
Thanks to The Rude Awakening newsletter for the inspirational image of Black swan, white knuckles. ^_^* ZCH

To The End (Endeavor to Persevere)



A heavy blanket across my mind

Pressing, pressuring

Holding me back, pushing me down

The more I try

The heavier the fog

                Now everything is stuck

                My thoughts grey

                Useless phrases, tired rhyme

                Bounce on the paper

                Ticking off time

                                         Duty and desire

                                         Fighting for control

                                         My soul, my mind

                                         Caught in a bog

                                         Of blank verse

                                        Stress taking its toll

Still I stretch

Heartbeat pounding out

Mind’s eye open

Searching the dreary route

Soul’s voice pouring energy

Into a perpetual shout

Desires, defined and vague

Drive me on

                Careless footsteps on the path

                Slowly now

                How slow I must go

                Each step an effort

                A toil on the road

                                         Dreams a welcome relief

                                         Distracting me

                                         My concentration lost

                                         In a breath

Would that I could

Get paid for dreaming

My fantasies aired for all to see

Make them their own

How would that be?

Most intimate thoughts

Drawn out and intertwined

                Every lonely soul like mine

                Thinking they all know

                Exactly what I am

                What I feel

                                         Just as I do now

                                        With those whose words

                                         I use to light my way

Each of us clinging

To the cliff face

Holding fast to those

Who have gone before.

02-24-08, 03-01-08 ZCHallback {AikiBriarRose}

Twisted Tissue


The scars of past wounds run thick

                twisted flesh that limits

The response to new stimuli

Every reaction measures against

                the possibility of how much

Pressure, how much passion

Can be taken by the fractured

               and mended heart

The avoidance of pain leaves

               numbness in its wake

How alive it feels to hurt like this

Pieces of soul scattered and shining

                in the morning light

Aftermath of sorrow worth its weight

In living, breathing the scent

                of another’s desire

Two hearts beat in a succession of moments

                reaching out through the wall of pain

That surrounds each living being

Together to fly a parallel course

                broken wings mending slowly

With the passage of time

To live through that which kills

                a weaker spirit

Can strengthen one’s own self

If the trial is overcome enough to reach out

                Else alone, the wounded heart

Is fragile

04-02-08 ZCHallback {AikiBriarRose}



I beat my head bloody against

The brick wall of your discontent

Wanting to please you, but

In my own way and time

Our ends are the same though

The roads cover different ground

You don’t see what takes me so long

In your haste my self gets lost

Can’t you let me do it the way I want, the way you know I can

Your words are uselessly sharp and

Carelessly enjoy my flesh

My soul can bleed a little for you

If I can learn not to flinch

When you see me still and quiet

I’m not just wasting time

Keep my own counsel

Mark my path well [blood drops]

The light of the new moon

Makes it hard to tell [bleed slow]

I will bleed a little for you

My love heals the wounds [break free]

The pain causes growth anew

The flowers to come [beauty]

Are striving to break through.

05-06-08 ZCHallback {AikiBriarRose}



As I was roaring down the road
I came upon a white feather.
Reversing directions, I sought it.
But the wind of my passage
Must have blown it away
For it was gone, as though it
Was air, or imagination.
Noisy and carefree.

As I was walking down the same road
I looked around some more
But in doing so, I only found
A small brown feather.
I looked at it for a minute or a second.
And then, lifting my hand
I sent it on the wind into the woods.
Farther down the road, I hopped into the truck
Of a friend passing by.
Nothing had changed;
But everything had.
07-88; 10-15-07
ZCH {AikiBriarRose}
[I claim no ownership of the pictures. All rights for the image belong to the creator/owner of the pictures.]


If I am silent

Be patient please

There is a wall I must breach

It is strong

Many years growth

A wall of thorns, briar roses

Shielding my most valuable treasure

Protected by thorns

Keeping me safe






These are the roots of the wall

But recently, I have seen blossoms

They have appeared, and the roots

They seem to be dying, mostly

Or becoming dormant

Except one. It maintains the wall

Even as the vines and brambles part

{The fear of losing someone special }

It has offshoots, ready to regrow

Ready to bring the shield back up

{Fear of hurting someone who trusts me}

{Fear of waking up to find this is but a dream}

{Fear of saying the wrong thing}

{Fear of saying too much}

{Or not enough}

And strongest of all

{Fear of reaching out~

~And finding emptiness~

~Where you once were}

~{Forgive me}~

This castle is my home

I offer you a rose

Enter and be welcome…


ZCHallback {AikiBriarRose}